Typical Monday around here…

I am cleaning house… Well, winterizing actually. Getting ready for the cold months and the smoky months. Our idiot neighbors love to burn anything they can get their hands on, and the more it smokes the better. For years now I have threatened to put up plastic on the windows, and Hubby has protested. This year he lost. And you know what, once it is done and the curtains are back up, you can’t even tell it is there. I did one room and the only reason he knew I’d done it was the over-sized door we don’t use had to have two pieces, so it didn’t shrink right and so you can tell that there’s plastic on it. The rest of the windows just look like windows. And already (only done 3 rooms) I have had to turn down the thermostat. You think your house is air proof, but I guarantee unless it’s brand new it’s not.

So I a fall cleaning one room at a time, pulling out stuff and cleaning behind it, YUCKY DUSTY, and putting up my plastic and washing windows. My allergies are going nuts, but I figure it’s worth it considering I won’t have to smell smoke all winter. The first night of smoke about killed me. The next night, I’d done the two rooms on that side of the house and you could barely smell it at all. So now I can work more slowly which my back muscles greatly are thankful for.

So today I have taken the car to the shop only to find out nothing was wrong with the brakes. Washed my sheets and comforter, since I was working in my room and bathroom today. Done the windows in my bathroom (4 to be exact). Washed the curtains in my bathroom. Hope to get my laundry washed tonight. If I get those chores done, I am calling it a day. The girls cleaned up on Friday because they wanted friends to come over, so the rest of the house is straightened. Got my office done last Thursday. It is so much warmer in here now. Don’t even need my space heater. I think Hubby is going to like having a lower electric bill this winter… Wonder if I can make up for my part time job by saving on the electric bill?

Praying for Baby Stellan as he has his ablation today. Hope all goes well. Know what he’s going to go through today, since #1 had his 2 years ago. It is not an easy procedure (doctor never uses the term surgery). Praying he doesn’t need a pacemaker. It can be a complete cure to SVT, but the procedure itself is not without risks. They stop the heart during the procedure, they start high rates of SVT in the patient to see how the heart handles SVT. They have to use the paddles to stop SVT. Please pray for this family and all other children getting ablations this week. Thank you Lord that #1 is now cured of SVT and that he was older when he had to have his ablation.

Genealogy…

So, where was I… Oh yes, I was once a genealogist, then my mother decided she needed to sell a house. So we painted and painted and put it on the market and sold it and she moved and moved and now she lives here. And my son decided he was tired of high school and so he graduated, and went off to college. And my middle child, decided she was tired of her brother getting all of the attention, so she decided she’d become a senior. Her younger sister, not to be out ignored, decided to go off to middle school, have a few heart problems and so the stress of it all got to me and I quit my job. So now you all all caught up…

In all the months I was busy with the descendants and the one lone ancestor, I did not get any genealogy email. Even the TMG mailing list which can hit several hundred emails a day was fairly quiet. I bought a new computer and took 4 months to move everything from the old computer to it. Haven’t even opened TMG but three times since getting the new computer. So this is my plans for my first week as a newly unemployed woman…

Get my brakes fixed… Anybody besides me drive a mini-van? I swear I get the brakes on that thing fixed every three months. Doing carpool doesn’t help any. So tomorrow morning, me and the brake guy have our tri-monthly date. Hubby would be jealous, but I think he’s decided that I get a good rate by flirting a little. LOL I know this has nothing to do with genealogy, but the van does get me to cemeteries, libraries, and does sport my “First Families of Tennessee” license plate. It’s 12 years old, paid for, has been thrown up in, so as long as it runs, brake guy and I will continue our tri-monthly brake dates.

Then my best friend and I are going to go to lunch together. Her Hubby is unemployed as well. Well, between jobs actually and has a few days off, so he can watch Practice Grandson, so we can go out to lunch alone. Normally we take him with us, but it will be fun just us girls. We are celebrating me being home again and his new job, which will have him home more!

Then I am going to do my fall cleaning before I start my Christmas decorating, because man is this house dusty. How dusty is it? Well, lets just say that we went from two inside cats, to an inside dog and despite my best cleaning efforts, behind things is really dusty. And I hate putting up Christmas stuff without giving the house a good dusting.

Then I am going to start genealogy again, because this week alone I got three emails from genealogy researchers on my Holt line. And I have some cemeteries that need working on that I have been putting off. And I want to get a few more moved over from the website. I let my Footnote subscription expire, because I just didn’t have time to use it, but may ask Santa to get me a new one now that I am home again. I hear they are trying to get all the census, so that would be reason to renew, since I still have a few census enumerations I still can’t find.

And I am thinking of writing a book. Yup, you read that right. I am thinking of writing a book. May never get it written or published, but I am thinking of starting the process. Just for me. Because I am at the stage in my life where if you don’t try something how will you ever know if you can do it or not? And if it’s good enough, I may try and get it published and if it gets published, I will let you know. But mainly, I just want to write it so I can say that I did. You know, like knitting a sweater, or learning to sew.

And I am going to start organizing the research for my mother-in-law and father-in-law’s sides of the family. Scanning and organizing and getting it into some order where I can share electronically with distant relatives more easily.

Today in our Sunday School lesson we learned about the Joys in trials. The last year has been a trial. God has brought me through it finally. I can look back and see the joys. Mom is here and thriving. Her heart problems are doing much better and her health has greatly improved. She is happier and calmer than I have seen her in years. She is enjoying the time with her grandchildren. My oldest is settling into college, making friends, finding his way. My middle child is growing up and making decisions for herself, without a lot of interference from mom (me), allowing her to be more independent. My youngest is having some growing pains, but she is surrounded by people who love her and she sees that and I think it is helping her to realize that she has a great village of people raising her, not just mom and dad. These joys weren’t evident when we were on the pathway going through the last year. I can only see some of them looking back on the last year. At the time, it was hard to see much of anything through my tears. Now those tears of sorrow have become tears of joy as I see we have made it as a family. We are looking forward to our first Thanksgiving together as a family living together, our first Christmas. We are learning to give each other space, yet also make sure that each person feels included. Funny thing is, in all this time the one thing I feared the most has not happened. My mom and I have not had one single fight. We have not had one ill word to say to each other. We have just had the most wonderful times together. We have just enjoyed each others company. Yes, this year has been a big year of transitioning for our family… One kid off to college, another getting ready to go. A parent coming here for us to care for her. This year I became a sandwich. I thought I would hate it. But you know, it hasn’t been all that bad. Somebody pass the chips…

Okay, I lost it…

It was me… I was reading another forum this week. Won’t say where, just let’s say, I got tired of the bickering and I came out of lurking mode and I lost it. And I am glad I did. People have come together. They have apologized to each other. They are working together. They are being nice. For the first time in MONTHS.

What is it about women online? What is it that when you give women a computer and anonymity, they think that they can say anything they want to about and to each other and it doesn’t matter? They can accuse each other of any sort of atrocities. They can say hateful things and it doesn’t matter, because no one knows who they are. Well, the thing is, even if no one out there knows who you are (and don’t fool yourself, even when you post anonymously, the owner of a blog can find out who you are) you still know who you are. Can you live with the way you treat people online? Would you say those things to that person, if they were sitting right there beside you? In the grocery line? If they were you best friend? Your mother?

So after months of reading this forum, I just couldn’t take the venom any longer. I lost it. I called them to the table on what they were doing. And low and behold, it made a difference! I can’t believe it did, but I stood up for what was right and it changed things. For how long, I don’t know. Today at least. Tomorrow, the bitterness, the anger may be back. But for today, I got to see people say I am sorry for the things I said to you. I am sorry for the things I wrote about you. I am sorry for the way I made you feel.

It seems as if anytime you give a group of women a forum where they can discuss any topic (you pick-dogs, breast cancer, children, crafts, genealogy, UFOs) someone will come to that forum and try and stir up trouble. Then there is always someone on the forum who will feed off the energy of that person and will immediately post back (known as feeding the troll). This is what had been happening for a while on the forum I’d been reading. As a lurker, I’d just read the on-topic posts and tried to ignore the ones posted by known trolls and and the ones that had been driven off topic. You try to ignore the ones that try and stir up trouble hoping they will lose interest. But last night, I don’t know, I just couldn’t ignore any longer. So today, I went back to being a lurker. Just reading what is written. Hopefully I can enjoy the wittiness of other women without the cattiness of a few who just want attention. Don’t make me come out of lurkdom again.

I am Freezing…

This is not a good sign. The thermostat says it is 73 degrees in my house. I have on a jacket. My hands are blue. I am shivering. Something isn’t right here. Why am I so cold? I know it’s not really that cold in here, yet I can’t stop shaking. It’s like my body thinks it’s 45 degrees. I hope I am not getting sick. I am not in the mood to be sick.

It’s not even that cold outside. In fact it was warm outside when I came in from work a few hours ago. My guess is it’s cooler now, but not that much.

Even the heat from the keyboard feels good. I am literally warming my hands over the keyboard. Makes me miss my old laptop that overheated. With that computer, my hands were never cold. I unplugged my space heater yesterday so I could clean under my desk. I think it may be time to find where I put it. Yes, I am a summer girl. I love it hot. Any thing under 75 degrees and I am cold. I don’t like winter sports, I hate snow. My dream vacation is anything on the equator. I long to live on Maui. Clothes, in my opinion, should be optional year round. So here I sit in my house, with the temperature on 73, freezing, wishing the sun was coming up, not going down. I know it is only going to get colder as the night goes on, not warmer. Yup, it’s time to get out the heating pad, and electric blanket so I can read my email. I swear I don’t know how you people in those Northern states do it…

Good Bye’s

Friday is my last day at work. I am taking a much needed break from working to care for my family. My youngest especially needs mom at home for a while. Today I told my mom’s at the Preschool so they could tell their kids. I love my preschool kids like my own. I make sure they eat all their lunch. I make sure their noses are wiped and faces are cleaned. I give out hugs and discipline in equal measure. I am mommy when mommy isn’t there. That is my job as teacher’s aide. I love what I do, but for a while now I have been very stressed and I felt like I needed a break. And so two weeks ago, I turned in my notice.

Monday I prayed God would show me one more sign I had done the right thing. Something beyond the friends saying “You are doing the right thing.” Or Hubby saying, “We don’t need the money.” Or Mom saying, “She needs you at home.” Today, He blessed me beyond measure. My replacement showed up to apply for my job…

One of my mom’s from last year came in to apply for a job as a substitute. I told her Friday was my last day, and she applied for my job. Last year she filled in for me when I was on vacation, so she knows how to do my job and she gets along great with the teacher. I just pray they hire her. It would be such a relief to know she was my replacement. I could leave knowing my children would be so well taken care of. I wouldn’t feel like I was leaving them short handed, but rather like I was just passing on the baton in a race. I left feeling so up beat.

I know Friday will be sad as I tell my children goodbye for the last time. But I am excited about the Hellos that are coming. I haven’t done any genealogy in months. Haven’t even gotten any genealogy emails. This week alone I have gotten 3 new cousins emailing me. I can’t wait to start corresponding with them. How great it is going to be to have time again to work on the new research we are going to find together!

Yes, God opened a door and asked me to walk out of it and in it walked my replacement. Now I know that He is standing somewhere holding another door open for me, waiting for me to get there, and the person waiting there for me is waiting just as eagerly for me to get there for that “job” as I was for my replacement today. That job may be mom, daughter, wife, or maybe He has another career in mind for me. I don’t know. But I am excited about what the future holds, because I will have some free time next week to finally put up my Thanksgiving decorations!

Chocalot, chocalot…

What a wonderful world… Yes, we had a good Halloween. We always celebrate Halloween. I have never seen it as an evil holiday. I mean come on. Free candy, dress up clothes, happy kids, free candy, exercise, how did this holiday get a bad rap? I mean seriously? I love this holiday. I dress up the kids, send them to the neighbors, who give them enough free chocolate to last me until Christmas and that’s a lot of Chocolate. I won’t need another Reese’s peanut butter cup until spring. Why don’t we do this again for Easter?

#3 had a party. Invited her best bud. He’s such a sweet heart. Him and 15 girls at a party. All the moms were feeling sorry for him, but personally, I think he had it made-the only rooster in the hen house. He had the pick of the litter. Seriously this kid just had to smile and a girl got him pizza, another brought him drink, yet another asked him if he wanted to go trick or treating, she’d carry his bag. I think he knew he had a good thing going. Let’s just hope that one party didn’t ruin him for life.

We ate pizza and apples and candy and the kids ran it off while the mom’s gossiped it off and the guys (Hubby and #1) watched football. It was the perfect party. I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried, thing is I didn’t. I just threw some boxes of pizzas on the counter, poured some caramel on some apples and let the neighbors give the kids candy. I am telling you Halloween is the perfect family holiday. Why do so many people get stressed at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Three words. Sit Down Dinners If we cooked a turkey and then sent the kids door to door for the green been casserole and the rolls and sweet potatoes, we’d all be happier and less stressed come the New Year. I am thinking of starting a new tradition. Door to door holidays. We will all cook and then go door to door with our plates to fill them up at each other’s houses. We won’t know what we are eating until we get home with a plate full of goodies. Dad will have to check the food to make sure it doesn’t contain any evil Thin Mints. If not, then we can partake of it where ever you can find a spot in the living room or front porch. After dinner, you will play tag in the front yard to run off the chocolate cake you got three doors down. No more stress, no more “She never comes to our house for dinner.” No more “They never help me with the dishes.” The holidays will now be a neighborhood affair just like Halloween. All dishes will be individually wrapped. Think I can sell my idea to Hallmark and make a million dollars, because you know I am now unemployed….

Praising God…

Beat, beat, beat…
Yup, her little heat beat’s to it’s own drummer. But it’s an okay drummer. The cardiologist said her heart looks great! He saw nothing wrong with it today and said she was fine. So now my heart has returned to its normal beat, beat beat as well.

And so we are still on the path of why is she so tired. And I think we have stumbled on the cause. Seasonal allergies. Took her back to the doctor today because she was complaining of a sore throat and it was making her sick at her stomach. Doctor said throat, ears, etc looked fine. So like most of us here in the Deep South, I think she has entered the age of Seasonal allergies. And all this rain hasn’t helped. So we are trying a new allergy medicine to see if that perks her up. If it does, then we may have figured out what has been causing her to feel so bad. If not, then we will head back to the doctor for more workups, because that’s what we mom’s do. But I am thinking that good ole Southern plants a dieing for fall and allergies may be the whole reason for a good portion of her malaise.

At any rate, we are praising God for the fact that she has nothing wrong with her heart. For that we are thankful beyond measure. The fast rate, he said is normal in thin children her age. Now to put some weight on those bones. Yeah, right. I didn’t gain an ounce until I was pregnant with her brother and I don’t think she needs any children at 12, so we are just going to have to try something else.

Also praising God, my “visitors” appear to have left my kitchen. Haven’t seen any today. We’ll see if they come back next month. Stay tuned, you’ll hear the screaming. LOL

Signs from God…

Okay, so I am not going to ask for any more signs from God. Months ago I asked God for a few signs, you know a billboard that simply stated “Do this….God”

Well then mom came in and said, “I want to sell my house and move closer to you.” Couldn’t have been a clearer sign from God if I’d read it by the road. And so we started the process. It has been hard, and stressful at times. We have had some fun. And she is now living closer to us. We no longer own her house and she can just worry about keeping her apartment clean.

But there have been other things that haven’t been as clear. When my plants die, I know I have too much on my plate, so when my parakeet died, I wasn’t sure, was he old, or was that a sign I was too busy? I suspected it was a little of the latter, so I upped the care for the finch. But the plants were fine. I’d killed all, but the most hardy by now.

I felt like I was handling life, keeping the balls in the air, so to speak. Sure, I wasn’t going to the grocery store regularly. I was just running down the end cap at Publix getting the buy one get one free items. You can make meals from those, right. The kids didn’t seem to mind Frosted Lucky Charms and TV dinners for supper.

A few months ago I bought a bag of dog food for the dog just to make it until I could get to the pet store to get the expensive stuff he ate, that, you know, had no yeast, no corn, no meal, no preservatives in it. Well, this cheap bag said it had none of that in it, and it was cheaper, so I thought it’s only one day and I am super stressed, what will it hurt for one night. Well, I found out yesterday, three weeks after we buried the dog, who died of cancer, not food poisoning. After I bought the better dog food the next day, I just left the other stuff on the counter for a few weeks, you know just in case, and well, it must have went bad. And it got mealy worms. And yesterday, despite the fact that I threw the dog food out two months ago, we had an invasion of the mealy worms. Apparently they have been dormant in my kitchen somewhere and yesterday it got warm enough or cold enough or whatever it is that mealy worms need enough for them to hatch all over my kitchen. A plague sign from God that I am way to busy.

Okay, I don’t know if God really sends signs anymore, but I know one thing for sure. I don’t like worms in my kitchen. I don’t even like worms in my backyard, though I am sure they are there, I can overlook them there, because, well, I don’t cook my TV dinners there. So while I was spraying bugs on my ceiling today I decided no more signs for me. Life was good when I took God’s plan one day at a time. I liked being clueless. I just did what I felt I was led to do at the time. I didn’t need His divine plan laid out in front of me. He showed me what He needed me to do one person at a time, and as I was led, I did it. And I was happy. No bugs in my kitchen. No stress in my life. Yup, let someone else be God’s prophet, I will stick to being His servant. One cemetery, one teenager, one kind word at a time.

To the beat of our own drummer…

Okay the hearts at this house just beat to the rhythm of a different drummer. Mine goes upwards to 264. #1’s could go as high as 400 apparently pre-ablation. #3s we are still waiting to see. The dog even had a mummer. So we beat to the beat of our own drummer. We set our own course. Today we are starting a new course of action. Yesterday I took a day of vacation and #3 took a day off of school. Today she went and so far she has managed to stay. I have managed to pace a hole in the floor. But I have also managed to get the house cleaned back up and gotten laundry caught back up. Mom will be home more now to take care of business and hopefully that will mean less stress for everyone. Maybe that will slow all our hearts down.

So which of my ancestors gave us this heart disorder? Hard to say really. My grandmother’s both took heart medications. My paternal grandmother died of a heart attack. Perhaps her heart just got tired of trying so hard. People didn’t live as long 100 years ago. Could it be that their hearts beat to their own drummer then too, but without modern medicines, those hearts just gave out at 50 instead of 80 like modern hearts do.

I really worry about kids these days that live on “health drinks” to give them energy. These caffeine base drinks do nothing but speed up their hearts. One hundred years ago, caffeine was not in every drink a person took. Of course, cocaine was a medicine. Did my ancestors have healthy hearts but one ancestor taking that cocaine for an ailment such as a headache, so destroy his/her heart muscle, that they passed down bad heart genes to the rest of their generations? I always wonder at what point did a family line get a new illness mutation. When did that family become susceptible to cancer, heart disease, club foot, being blond headed. Genes fascinate me. Both my father and my son point with their middle finger. My father said he ran his hand through a printing press before I was born and that is why he pointed with his middle finger. Did that somehow affect his DNA that he passed to me? That I passed on to my son? Will generations from now still be pointing with their middle fingers yet not knowing why they use that finger? Can a gene be mutated that easily?

Yes, at our house we are on the beat to our own drummer. Don’t know who our original drummer boy was or why he decided to change our beat. Today we just pray that our beat is not life threatening and we can figure out how to best control that beat so that we can live normal lives.

Unemployed…

I turned in my two week notice today. My youngest hasn’t been feeling good for a while. Complains of constant tiredness. On Friday, we found out she has a rapid heartbeat. Not sure yet what the cause is. She sees the cardiologist on Thursday. But I’ve been feeling overwhelmed for a while. Followers of my blog long term have probably noticed it. I haven’t mentioned genealogy in about 6 months. That’s because I haven’t done genealogy in that time. I have been too overwhelmed by life. Caring for my mom, who is basically still able to care for herself. Can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when she really needs full time care. We’ve been sick. A lot this fall. And now this. I just couldn’t keep up any longer. I had all these balls in the air and I have been praying about what to do, and decided this was one ball I could put down. I only work three days a week for four hours a day. My money is fun money for our household. It had ceased to be fun. I will miss my co-workers and the kids but not the stress I was under trying to get to work on time and convince a kid to go to school when she didn’t feel good. Who would with a heart rate of 130? Add in highschool football (band) and middle school football (cheer leading) practices and games and all this rain we’ve had and we’ll I’ve just been overwhelmed.

So hopefully we will find out what is going on and get her rhythm in a normal beat very soon. She’s tired of being tired. Today she’s also fighting a sore throat. I talked to the school and they were wonderful. They usually are. That is why I love this school staff so much. Maybe I will have time to do some genealogy while she rests these days. I have missed it. Today I did some much needed housework another thing that I have neglected lately. And some laundry. I have just let her rest. You see, my heart can beat that fast too, so I know how she feels. In fact, I can go higher and you are totally wiped out. So I just let her sleep. If it returns to normal, she can go to school tomorrow. The coaches know to let her take it easy in gym.

Who would have thought that I would have had three heart babies? The doctor says her rhythm isn’t Wolfe-Parkinson-White like her brothers. So at least for now, we are not looking at another ablation. So for now, I am praising God for that! Keep us in your prayers. Today, I feel a lot less overwhelmed. Of course, I haven’t told my husband yet. I didn’t tell him I was going to quit. I just did it. First time in my life I ever made a decision and did it without consulting him first. I think he will agree it’s for the best, my best friend did, my mom did, my blogging best friend did. I just haven’t had time to talk to him today. If he doesn’t I can always change my mind, but I am going to try and change his first. Because I feel like that ball was carrying the weight of the world in it.