What Do You Regret?

#1 had a campus tour today. There was one other family there and we had a great time. Thanks Ms. Ashley and Ryan. At the end of the tour we were just talking and the other mom asked me if there was anything I regretted. Anything I wish I could do over? Any words of wisdom to my teenagers so they could learn from my mistakes.

Now I am pretty pig headed. Once I make a decision, I never second guess it. And I was never wild so I don’t have any girls gone wild tapes out there anywhere. So I got to thinking have I ever made a decision I regretted?

Now I did drop out of college to get married, but I don’t regret it. I hated college, and was only there because my mother gave me no choice about where I went, what I studied. I don’t regret quitting for one minute. I probably should have stood up for myself and said what I wanted, but knowing my mom, it would have been a waste of time and energy.

I certainly don’t regret the decision to marry Hubby. It was the best decision I ever made. As were my three kiddos.

After thinking about it all day, I can’t think of anything I regret about my life. Sure I could have made better choices, but the ones I made at the time were the best I could have made with the knowledge I had then.

That is why I never judge my ancestors. It’s easy for me to say “Why did she do that?” or “What was she thinking?” But I didn’t walk in their shoes, have the knowledge or lack thereof that they did. When I put myself into my great grandmother’s shoes, with 6 kids, an abusive father, no husband (daddy ran him off-didn’t like his preaching), pregnant in 1928, I understand why she went to her sister and said, “Help me.” She paid for her mistake three days later with her life. In my life, with a loving husband, parents who would help me financially and three kids I waited a long time to have, it’s really easy to judge her and say why didn’t she just have #7. But I have to remember there was no WIC, Medicare, Social Security, etc in 1928. I have to remember there was no birth control. She made the decisions she made based on the choices she had available. Did she have regrets? Probably. Did she do the best she had with what she had? I believe she did. I believe she made the choices she made with her children’s best interests at heart. I believe she was a good mother.

No, I can’t think of any regrets. It’s easy to look back and say I should have or I could have. But we make decisions based on what we have at the time and it’s not fair for the now us to judge the then us. That is what I believe forgiveness is about. Realizing that you didn’t make the right decisions at the time, but allowing yourself to go on, knowing you’ll do better next time. If I have any words of wisdom for my children, its make the best decision you can at the time. Implement them to the best of your ability and if later you discover you didn’t make the best decision for the long term, forgive yourself. And move on, with no regrets. Regrets hold us in the past. Unable to move into the future.

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