Being Mindful…

Erin posted the following on her blog Nage5 NewsIt is when we feel overwhelmed by demands that we know we’re out of balance and not being mindful and we need to revisit the way we do things to regain that balance.

Lately I have been feeling very overwhelmed by the demands of my job. A little background. After being a stay at home mom for 15 years, three years ago, with all three kids in school, I decided to go back to work part time. I worked that year as a sub for the public school system and for the preschool where I now work. I jumped at the chance to take a part time position last year and loved it. THen this year, I agreed to work 4 days a week. I only work 4 hours a day.

The problem is I have to have large blocks of time to accomplish stuff. That is something about my personality I understand. So when I am off on Mondays, I can either clean house, or run errands, but I just don’t seem to be getting both done. (There’s also carpool and gymnastics on Monday) I have been feeling overwhelmed and it has been affecting how I feel about my job. So last night I prayed God would show me exactly what He wanted for me for next year. Then I read Erin’s blog with that quote. It is when we feel overwhelmed by demands that we know we’re out of balance and not being mindful and we need to revisit the way we do things to regain that balance. Obviously not what I am doing this year, since…

That is exactly how I have been feeling lately. Overwhelmed by demands. Then today I had the worse day of all. And it wasn’t the kids, it was the demands of others. The teachers themselves didn’t mean anything by what they said, it was just that it caused me to feel stressful. Had you asked me what I was going to do next year, this morning I would have said I was going to work three days a week. This afternoon, I would have said I was going to stay home and not work at all.

Not sure which feeling is caused by mindful thinking and which is caused by a bad day, but it seems like every day lately is a bad day. I feel as if the demands of my family are being ignored by the demands of my job, like when #2 got sick at school and I felt like I had to go back to work.

Now let me state, that I do enjoy working, and most days are good, but sometimes I feel that God speaks to me through me being unhappy and not through the good times. He makes me revisit what is happening to me by making me miserable. Lately I have felt really stressed by the demands put on me. We don’t need my job to pay the bills, but it does allow us to have a little wiggle room in the budget.
So I am trying to be mindful and make the best decision for my family. Sometimes decisions seem so easy on the outside looking in, but on the inside they seem so difficult.

So I am going to continue to wait for “clear and distinct directions” part of my prayer last night on what I should do next year. I am thankful I have options. Many people don’t. So it will either be that I work only three days next year, giving me an errand day and a housecleaning day. Or that I will be home again full time. I am pretty sure I don’t want to do that. Three days would be great if I could get M-W-F, because so many holidays fall on Mondays, allowing me a day to be with my family and also still have my errand and cleaning days. Now when the kids are off on Mondays, I don’t get anything done that week. Of course, all that will depend on whether my position is even needed next year. My clean and distinct directions may come when I find they don’t need me.
So perfect stangers and friends What would you do?

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2 thoughts on “Being Mindful…

  1. I vote for 3 days a week if you can swing it…but be prepared to say, “No, thank you” to the job if the compromise isn’t possible.

    P.S. Your post is also testimony to what I’ve been saying for years. We are needed just as much when our children are teenagers (maybe even more) as when they are babies.

  2. That’s what I am heading for. There’s always someone wanting more hours and if I do later, I will be able to sub for someone, but it will depend on the days available.

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