Tickets Please…

It all started with the words “I would like to introduce you to the graduating class of 2009.”
And with that, I ran to the field where I hugged my first born and congratulated him on being finally out of high school. There was a tap on my shoulder and there behind me stood his sister. Mom, I’m a senior!

I can still remember that day. I wasn’t feeling well, and #1 wasn’t nursing. I went to the doctor, because I was concerned that after three miscarriages and a pregnancy that there was something wrong with my milk supply and perhaps this little guy wasn’t getting enough to eat despite the fact that at 8 months he appeared to be thriving. The doctor looked at me after my physical and said congratulations, you’re pregnant. I couldn’t be. I’d just been there done that for the last two years and frankly I was done. I had my perfect family, me, Hubby, and a perfect little boy. I did not want to enter the world of toxemia, bedrest, swollen feet, ultra sounds and then the words “maybe next time” ever again. Nope, that little boy was perfect and I wasn’t going there again.

I didn’t even tell Hubby, I just went to the ultrasound a few days later by myself convinced that they’d show me what countless others had, but nope, there she was, perfect as the doctor said. He showed me her heart, and her brain and her legs. Gonna be long legged that one. And smart from looking at that brain. And beautiful looking at her momma. I just cried. You see, I wanted another, I really did more than I wanted the air I was breathing, but I didn’t want my hopes to get up yet. She was only 6 weeks in, and I lost her siblings much later.

That night I told Hubby and his reply was “No you are not.” It wasn’t a question. Like me, he’d had enough heartache to last a lifetime. But yes, I was, and this little gal was not her older siblings. She made it pass the 12 week mark. Pass the 14 week mark. Pass toxemia. Pass gestational diabetes. She didn’t even make my legs swell. Nope, she was perfect right from the beginning.

And for 18 years, she’s always been there behind her brother. Waiting for her time to shine. Her time in the spot light. And today she got it. We went and took senior pictures. She looks beautiful in everyone. How will my wallet survive?

Yup, I just got off the roller coaster and barely had time to take a breath when the conductor asked me where was my ticket. I am on the ride yet again. The doctor was right. She is smart. She is long legged. She is beautiful. Far more so than her mother ever thought to be. And she was the best gift God ever gave me, because she was the one I got as a bonus. She was the one who always smiled. She slept through the night. She made motherhood easy. She was the one every teacher wanted in their class. My beautiful princess child. Who got little attention because her brother seemed to need so much and she so little. Now it’s her time to shine. I love you little one. I am so proud of you.

Here’s my ticket…


One thought on “Tickets Please…

  1. Oh, I loved that. Especially the last part. Valiant and Buttercup have suffered in the shadow of Charming’s needs and they truly blossomed this last 9 months with him in the dorms. Oh, for sure there were growing pains and the reality that they didn’t have to fight for attention in the same way finally gave way to their kind hearts. It is wonderful to enjoy your children, no matter their stage. Congratulations to #2 for her lovely senior portrait and to #3 for heading off to middle school…the baby years are done. Weird, isn’t it?

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